h.e.l.p

i realize that i was not the last time of me anymore.

i could not bear more things to trouble me at the same time.

what should i do?

i have been trying to face it all at once.

i can do it last time.

bear with the problem.

right now,

i can't.

these stresses will screw up my everything.

i need to focus on my study.

i am afraid to say that i fear of loosing my passion on study.

that it is my only hope to survive in this world right now.

i got nothing.

i just got this 4 years to study,

that brings me a better future. 

but why it seems not working?

4 years of study is not the only thing i should concern.

why can't i be like everyone else?

doing something they really like?

i can see things happening, opportunity that is gonna work...

i am just lack of some sort of capabilities in the situation,

that makes me couldn't move forward.

it sucks.

i can see i am screwing up myself right now.

i think i really need somebody, 

my girlfriends,

to seriously talk to me,

teach me... guide me.

so that i won't keep on stay in this fall...

i wanna rise up back!

but i just can't make it this time!!!

w h y ?

i really hope that,

this quote can't works on me right now.

i understand it

but i can't apply it.

that's the problem.

i need somebody to help me,

cool down,

let go something that is unnecessary.

help me take a step back to look at bigger picture of life

c l e a r l y 

i need people, 

to brainwash me that,

there is still hope!

somewhere in front,

that i should not give up right now!!!

i need somebody,

to show me that,

i should be remind of this,

that there are people living worse than me.

that i would not wish to be in their state,

that i would be happier with what i am having right now.

i am hoping and wishing that,

i am making this mistake right now,

for the sake of the better tomorrow and future. 

i know, 

mistake is part of our life where we gonna learn from our experience,

but at this mean time,

i really wish that,

it happen for a reason

a true reason for the problem i wanna solve right now.

i hope i did make a good reason to go,

to take an extremely different direction of life.

i wish one day in my life

that after i have go through every challenge that give me hard impacts,

will make me to have this choices in my life.

that i am stable enough to make a fast and clarify reason and choices 

whenever any problem meets me,

rather than dragging the time,

 being in confusing situation,

suffers the process

of making 

c h o i c e s

that is what i need the most.

i am waiting 

to meet wisdom peoples

who can

slap me

to wake me up.

telling me all sort of things related to what i am mentioned up there.

it used to works when i am telling myself these things,

but it no longer works right now.

i need some changes.

i need other people's help.

a n y o n e 

w i l l i n g

t o 

 h e l p

?

dreamie land ....