.fear.

"It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on." - Nicholas Sparks.

Read this.

How applicable it is to you?

What do you feel?

Suddenly, 

I understands what's being fear.

But I know, the more I am afraid of,

the more it will comes to me.

I'm dying inside.

Struggling.

I'm muted, 

I learnt to keep all to myself

in order to avoid being literally said but never felt spiritually held.

I felt so poor.

I'm poor of kindness

I'm poor of tenderness

I'm poor of happiness

I'm poor of gratitude

I'm poor of sympathy

I'm poor of mindfulness

I'm so poor!

Humans,

we can easily manipulate how people response to us by the way we give.

However,

not everyone will response to you as what you wanted, 

or even how they suppose to.

That's why it creates judgement and stereotypes.

I will not doubt if I ever did that because we are humans.

Perhaps I can never turn back the time even if I did.

I literally took a step back.

And now,

I compares a lot in my heart.

I am  gonna face the cruel fact of what lack of 

congruence

empathy

and

unconditional love.

I.

dreamie land ....